wickedleeloo

i miss you...

2008-07-17T03:05:55Z

last night i woke up feeling there's something missing...
after 17 years, only now have i realized What if you are still here...things would have been better.
then i wouldn't have to break my back caring for others...and none left for me. I'm tired.
I feel terribly sad and helpless with no one to draw strength from.

I miss you Pa...

Haymbak!

2008-06-26T01:39:50Z

finally! after sooo many hours of trying to remember what my password for helljay is, naalala ko rin at tumumpak naman...at eto na uli ako!

I almost stopped trying and was on the verge of feeling terribly sad of the idea that I will have to find another blogsite...i kind of like it here...

Ok, a lot of things happened over the last couple of years (shet ganon katagal!).

I got a new job, I moved to a new apartment (without housemates this time) etc etc.

May mga mements pa ren na naiisip mo ang nakaraan na mga kasaysayan at mapapangiti ka...pero may acceptance na "shetness happens...gotta move on, medyo overdue na to...di na cute ang gantong feeling."

So T. welkam me back!!! kape tayo.

sigh

2006-10-10T10:32:59Z

'Di mo lang alam
Naiiisip kita
Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako
'Di mo lang alam
Hanggang sa gabi inaasam makita kang muli

Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang pahanon
At ngayon ako ay iyong iniwan
Luhaan, sugatan, 'di mapakinabangan
Sana nagtanong ka lang
Kung 'di mo lang alam
Sana'y nagtanong ka lang
Kung 'di mo lang alam

Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Hindi mo lang alam
Kay tagal na panahon
Ako'y nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon para sa'yo

Lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya
'Di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta
Kung ako'y nagkasala patawad na sana
Puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal

'Di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Puro s'ya na lang
Sana'y ako naman
'Di mo lang alam
Ika'y minamasdan
Sana'y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam

'Di mo lang alam
Kahit tayo'y magkaibigan lang
Napapaligaya lang sa tuwing nagkukulitan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Ako'y nandito lang
Hindi mo lang alam
Matalino ka naman

Kung ikaw at ako
Ay tunay na bigo sa laro na ito
Ay dapat bang sumuko
Sana hindi ka lang pala aking nakilala
Kung alam ko lang ako'y masasaktan ng ganito
Sana'y nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko

'Di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Puro s'ya na lang
Sana'y ako naman
Isang kindat man lang
'Di mo lang alam
O, ika'y minamasdan
Sana iyo'y mamalayang 'di mo lang pala alam
Oooooooo

Malas mo
Ikaw ang natipuhan ko
Di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan

Oo by UpDharmaDown

~~~~~taena.~~~~~somebody fuckin translate this to him~~~~~~

hmm...

2006-08-25T11:56:36Z

I agree with T. when we were talking yesterday while waiting for our masseuse to attend to us for some awesome Swedish massage somewhere in Makati. She said, "We, born under the sign of Taurus are such drama queens and kings" Damn it, yes, we love drama, we seek inspiration by fucking our lives up. feeling everything, taking them all in...this is what made me visit this blog now.

I'm a bit tipsy from 2 bottles i just had with my officemates...yeah, i get knocked out real fast, i hate the taste of beer. I told Abs this will be the last day i'll bother with that one guy who stabbed me in the heart (again). that's how life is. and now i'm listening to EMO rock again. arrrgh. Side comment from Zoe: "lakas talaga ng appeal mo sa foreigners chong, sinusundan ka ng tingin oh..." There are British men hanging out on place...haay...(tigilan na ko pakiusap, in English...stop me.)

I'm addicted to the US tv series "the L word". I hate these self actualization moments...i'm doubting myself. i'm curious, i want to try it. I asked Tian and he said "No don't, it's hard to go back." My whole life i had 3 great big crushes on 3 amazing girls...of course i can't tell you who. but yeah, i want to date them and kiss them. that would be really nice.

So i said my goodbyes, since this will be the last day i will sulk in this feeling of being stupid (no matter how many times, we don't get tired, yeah it's part of it)...I sent him my last email.

huwahhh!

2006-07-18T10:36:50Z

Okay, so silly girl wanted to get out of the country and travel as she dreamed and wanted eons ago...she just decided now is the time! So silly girl did some serious thinking as to how to accomplish this and came up with the following choices:

1. Be a photographer. Make some really good photos and pray to all the gods of Greece and Rome and Nigeria and Samoa and kingdom far far away that hopefully, someone from National Geographic gets ahold of the photos and hire her. And voila! places never been to, soon can be visited!

2. Become a United Nations Volunteer. Ok, yeah, silly girl thought there will be screening and all that stuff but hey it's still worth a try. So silly girl applied online and the next day upon checking her email, her application got rejected. Sad...

3. Get her mom's friend to find her an employer and work overseas.(silly girl is thinking big of Greece right now...why Greece, she doesn't know.)

Any other suggestions, silly girl would be glad to hear 'em. She's running late for school, it's raining outside and traffic is chaotic as usual. Yeah...life ahead for silly girl are cloudy as the weather today.

P.S. Bush and Blair microphone mishap on G8 was funny! Two of the most powerful men in the world caught offguard! Here's a portion of the transcript:

Bush: Yo, Blair. How are you doing?

Blair: I'mjust...

Bush: You're leaving?

Blair: No, not yet.

Bush: You see, the thing is what they need to do is to get Syria, to get Hezbollah to stop doing this s**t and it's over.

Blair: Yeah.

Bush: We are not blaming the Lebanese government.

they talked and talked and then Blair looks at the mic...

Blair: Is this...? [Blair taps the microphone and the sound is cut.]

BWAHAHAHAHA!

okay what's up

2006-06-29T10:46:47Z

*last semester is on! the last 21 units and buhbye to college! i hate going to school if it's raining like hell. broke my umbrella, good thing, the ever handsome robin gave me a ride yesterday and let me use his umbrella which i forgot to bring with me to work this morning because i woke up late for the nth time. i could feel exhaustion closing in on me, my schedule is unbelievable.

*i'm eating like a fat slob...it's meat, cheese, grease, fat fat fat, nice tummy's gone! It will take months to burn it i know, but i love to eat! I miss veggies, home cooked meals, i miss stews and soups. And i have this extreme craving for california maki. Shawarma is the food to be every break time, love the garlic sauce and hot sauce man and the beef oozing in fat! yum yum. Need to shop for groceries soon, i'm eating nothing but junk.

*paranoia over my tooth extraction has been making me restless over the last few days it even came to a point where I asked people around what the symptoms are. darn. i don't want lockjaws now! not now! ask me why worry about it? my high school classmate died of root canal, 1 week, no symptoms, just fever on the last day and then lockjaw and that's it.

*i lost 2 thousand php because of a stupid ATM. I was debited but didn't get the money because it timed out! it will take forever to get it adjusted because of this and that, said the customer service on the phone. argh!

*and the sweet talker from korea. yeah i miss him a lot. my mind is buzzing with a million what if's right now. the fact is: i like him. the question is: what am i going to do about it? sooner or later reality will corner me: "What are you going to do about it?" this is a real test. i'll be damned if i go through the same sh!+ again.

*just me and my random thoughts...i missed this. feels good.

sigh

2006-06-01T07:10:49Z

jealousy is eating me now. di naman kita kilala.

there are no livejournal entries for this day. yun lang.

wickedleeloo @ 2006-05-28T07:49:00

2006-05-28T12:49:35Z

You Are Storm

Exotic and powerful, Storm descended from a line of African priestesses. Emotions can effect your powers, but you are generally serene. Powers: controlling weather, creating winds that lift you into flight, generating lightning

Which of the X-Men Are You?

bye

2006-05-14T07:40:47Z

oh yeah im leaving effective june 5
oh yeah!

wala na eh...bohol muna ako for 5 days tas mga bum ng 2 months. tsok, my manager is still trying to save me. he's even willing to arrange me and ping to have a date. hehehe...pwede...haha!

here are the palawan pics btw,

nice noh?hehe

napasulat ako...

2006-02-05T05:17:08Z

i visited his blog...part of my stalking routine.
and here's what happened, samahan mo pa ng pakikinig kay tori amos...ayun nagkaleche leche na naman utak ko.
T...are you there pare...can you be like, my girlfriend for one week?
***

and i feel his stoic whimper
screaming whispers of being alone
no matter how high he gets
he's still unhappy

having no one

i want to touch him
but how
is a question i leave unto fate
for he is one but another dream
but how
can i reach you

having no one

i want to be your someone...

time to update

2006-02-05T02:17:23Z

it's been a while...

Last week was crazy.
*Got into a fight with my mother about my responsibilities daw as an ATE. I missed class and 2 exams because of this.

*A guy I see every once in a while confessed that he’s not straight. For crying out loud this is like the 3^rd or 4^th time and this has to stop! It’s cool to have a lot of not-so-straight male friends but crush-ing and liking one and getting into a relationship with one is one major decision I have to think over really hard. And now is not the time for such. *I’m still gaga over PM who plays the role of Dennis Trillo’s best friend in Etheria but now that he's on TV, my hopes were what, killed?yes, killed. He gets an average of 70 blog comments for every post on his LJ. So i guess he's already a star. sigh. Who knows, maybe we will still meet in Saguijo (if I still have the time to go out...argh), I don’t know.

I am starting to condition myself in the idea…”that maybe, just maybe, I am meant to be spinster for life.” Pucha parang bridget jones to ah…

So there it is, ladies and gents and not so ladies and not so gents.

Here are the 2 things that I’m sure of at this time:

Palawan trip – I already have the tickets. Yehey! March 18-24.

School – finish 21 units this semester, summer and another 21 units and then graduate! Dang it! Although I enjoy studying very very much, the schedule I have now is a killer and i have no plans of getting my name in the papers because i lost my sanity and i jumped off of the office building.

Part of our itinerary (naks itinerary…) is the visit to Palawan Underground River. Tobal is screaming like mad in the office when he bought the Palawan traveler’s guide and saw the picture of this cave because he’s scared to go boating on the river. I told him, “You know what, you are sure gonna kill us if I’m on the boat with you because you get kinda hyper when excited and afraid, you’ll throw us over the river and get eaten by crocodiles.” But im still going...no matter how scary green that river gets. hehehehe...

nung sunday

2006-01-10T07:47:59Z

What: bridal shower for an officemate
featuring Jordan, the male sexy dancer.

nawindang ako.nawindang kami ni aimee. nawindang kaming lahat.
siguradong matatawa ako pag narinig ko sa bus at jeep ang kantang never say goodbye ni bon jovi! ahahahahaha!

Happy New Year!!!

2006-01-01T00:23:45Z

Dec. 28-30: Watched World Pyro Olympics with friends...parang ganyan yung fireworks sa Esplanade, Bay City Central! Had to walk from Toyota Manila Bay all the way to SM Mall of Asia, but it was worth it!

Dec. 31: Sa dinami dami ng mapapaniginipan ko si Chester pa! There were three of us in my dream. Sobrang comedy coz we were talking about sex ata then when it was his turn, he suddenly cried, telling us that he's still a virgin!!! Yung iyak na seryoso tas humihikbi!Tas yumakap sa ken parang bata! Sabi nya: "Huhuhuhuh, virgin pa ko!!!" Tas talagang basang basa yung mukha nya ng luha hahahaha! Natatawa na ko but i'm trying not to, afraid that i might offend him. Anak ng kamoteng panaginip anlupit talaga! Isa sa mga pinakamasayang panaginip ko to!

Happy New Year everyone!

T. i lab yu pare...let's camwhore ourselves at Baywalk one of these days.

wickedleeloo @ 2005-12-19T23:57:00

2005-12-20T06:00:17Z

Dream, the third of The Endless, you are in charge
of the Dreaming, all imagination and
creativity, everyone knows your beautiful
realm, but none truly understand it. You are
dark and brooding, creative, and spend a lot of
time by yourself, just thinking. You are almost
as serious as Destiny, but not quite. Everyone
is enchanted by you, but you keep them all at a
distance, even when you shouldn't.

Which Endless are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

shhhhhhhheeeeeeeeettttttttt.

2005-12-11T06:41:56Z

Artista na si ping! nasa Etheria sya sa Channel 7...playing the young Hagorn. | T. bakit ako biglang nalungkot? tara let's get a massage. *sigh

wickedleeloo @ 2005-12-03T23:46:00

2005-12-04T05:47:55Z

Nang dahil sa Starbucks planner, nagkakaganto.

murder

2005-11-21T00:17:54Z

su·i·cide (s-sd)
The act or an instance of intentionally killing oneself.

Example:
5am-6am              Get ready for work
6am-3pm              Work - and i mean, LOTS of work
3pm-4pm              Short break
4pm-5:15pm       Commute to school
5:15-9:15pm     Attend class
9:15-10:00pm    Commute home
10:00pm-5am     Sleep

*Schedule from mondays to fridays, saturdays have classes from 1pm-6pm, sundays work from 6am-3pm. (Special message to my ex-boss aka borj: I would loooovvee to trade this sick life with yours...heheheh.) T: penge stresstabs. And oh, I love my Labor Legislations professor, he enjoys torturing us by having us memorize Book III and V of Labor Code of the Philippines. Ang saya.

wickedleeloo @ 2005-11-10T01:15:00

2005-11-10T07:15:57Z

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing.
That doesn't mean you don't rock out...
You just rock out with meaning.
For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

wickedleeloo @ 2005-11-04T00:05:00

2005-11-04T06:19:31Z

Comes the dawn
After awhile you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up
and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn and you learn...with every goodbye you learn.

--- Virginia Shopstall

taken from the person's blog whom i stalk and i love (hehe).
Current read: The curious incident of the dog in the nighttime
Just seen: Finding neverland. hooh johnny depp...i can love you forever..lalalalala.

wickedleeloo @ 2005-10-30T03:30:00

2005-10-30T09:56:25Z

tagged by alilaytin [salamat po! =) ]

Write 20 Random Facts About Yourself, Then Tag The Same Number Of People As Minutes It Takes You To Write The Facts. If You're Tagged, It's Your Turn.

1. I have a 5-6'' slit in my throat.
2. I want to be a photographer but all i have is a sorry camera.
3. I speak 5 languages.
4. I want to learn to play the piano.
5. I have a crush on P.M. who appeared in Paramita's video.
6. I love Greece.
7. I am eyeing someone in the office - Spongecola's vocalist lookalike.
8. The sneezing sound that people do when they have colds is irritating me.
9. I feel that all the friendster updates, changes in page layout etc. is getting sicker and sicker and needs to be stopped.
10. Whew! naka-10 na ko! I miss my short hair.
11. I chanced upon this funny sick blog just now: http://www.cofibean.blogspot.com
12. I see dead people.
13. I dig Sarah McLachlan.
14. And rachael yamagata too..And vienna teng...And damien rice...
15. I climbed Mt. Apo.
16. I consume 3-5 cups of coffee a day.
17. I am a workaholic.
18. I can't cook.
19. Everything here may be false.
20. I don't know who to tag.

merci!

2005-10-20T08:35:21Z

sa mga nagtext, tumawag, dumalaw at nag-alala, salamat ng maraming marami. wala munang Redbox, beer, puyatan at biritan. magbulungan muna tayo...at mag-antay na maghilom ang 6 na pulgadang laslas sa leeg ko. i love you all.

im scared.

2005-09-17T08:18:05Z

This is it!

no turning back. kaya ko 'to.

*

2005-09-11T08:13:53Z

what if i die?

wickedleeloo @ 2005-08-19T04:26:00

2005-08-19T09:42:41Z

haus party

2005-08-10T00:57:37Z

nakawala na naman kami! bitiwan na lahat wag lang ang bote!

wickedleeloo

i miss you...

Haymbak!

*sigh*

hmm...

huwahhh!

okay what's up

sigh

wickedleeloo @ 2006-05-28T07:49:00

bye

napasulat ako...

time to update

nung sunday

Happy New Year!!!

wickedleeloo @ 2005-12-19T23:57:00

shhhhhhhheeeeeeeeettttttttt.

wickedleeloo @ 2005-12-03T23:46:00

murder

wickedleeloo @ 2005-11-10T01:15:00

wickedleeloo @ 2005-11-04T00:05:00

wickedleeloo @ 2005-10-30T03:30:00

merci!

im scared.

*

wickedleeloo @ 2005-08-19T04:26:00

haus party

sigh